Saturday, March 6, 2010

Is it almost the end?

Exams are over and we have only one more paper to pass. I still can't believe that I will be graduating soon, I knew this day would come, not that I'm very confident about graduating but I knew that I would get to a point in my life where in I would transcend from teenage life to real adulthood. This is the time where I can learn to be more independent. (my mom will laugh if she'll read this part of me wanting to be independent, but it's true ma!)

I can still remember when I was about 8 or 9 years old, I was sitting upside down with my feet above the head rest and my head almost touching the floor. I was crying. I was crying while I was upside down. (imagine the talent) Why? I was crying mainly because I was thinking of me, older versions of me. I was thinking about how I will look like and be like in about 10 - 40 years(even 60 years). I can't help but laugh at myself whenever I remember that part of my life, my brother even asked why I was crying and I didn't answer because I knew he would just laugh at me so I just ignored him. I was too worried about how my life was going to turn out. I cried because I didn't want to grow old, I didn't want an older version of me. I wanted to be just the way I was, the little girl who would run around the house following mama everywhere, run around the store until I make papa take his Tylenol (I was such a headache. ooops!) and play with neighborhood kids making myself feel queasy.

Now, I'm about to graduate and I'm not sure where my path would take me but one thing I know that's sure, I want to become the older version of me that's successful and independent. I want to see the world in my own point of view, I want to be able to touch lives and be there for my family and friends. I want to have those moments when I can say that, 'I must have done something right for me to get here'. No longer the little girl who runs around but the sophisticated woman who shops around. (SAY WHAT?)